“Hello and welcome to Peter’s Portalands! I am Peter Flobwibble, and here are my portals! Do you seek a specific kind of weaponry, power, or something of the like? Just let me know and I will guide you to the right portal!
Peter’s Portalands and its affiliates are not responsible for any damage done to you, your existence, or the like if you refuse to follow the directions of the shopkeepers. If any of you know what you would like, just let me know!”

– The man, the myth, the legend, Peter Flobwibble, Gnomish Warlock Shopkeeper Extraordinaire, The Year 750